my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The air was thick with penises
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
