It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
