I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
