I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
