And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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