i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
