we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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