and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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