i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
