I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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