Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
