One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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