So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize
