I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
