morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
