We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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