I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
