I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
