just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
