shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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