Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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