Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
