We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
