No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he was CRYING into my vagina
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
