p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
