You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
