found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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