I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
