Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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