2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
