I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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