You can't special order awesome
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
that may or may not have been my penis.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
