This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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