hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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