If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
