I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
