I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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