Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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