They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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