I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
