Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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