This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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