I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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