I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
