A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
