He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
