It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
