I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
