I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
