My brain says no but my pants say off.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
