She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
