it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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