went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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